Marital Musings

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Supporters of "Traditional" Marriage Should Provide More Support

In the wake of President Obama's support for same-sex marriage, opponents of gay marriage are mobilizing. The media has been filled with activists outlining the ways gay marriage is harmful to society. One particular danger cited is the negative impact same-sex marriage will have on "traditional" marriage. The problem with this argument is that marriage has been in trouble for years. A divorce rate that hovers near 50%, an increase in the choice of cohabitation over marriage, and the growing belief that marriage is obsolete are some of the factors that have had a tremendous impact on the institution. Common relationship issues such as money problems, failure to communicate, alcohol abuse and infidelity continue to tear apart marriages. Personally, I've struggled in my marriage, known others who have struggled, and have many friends and family members who have divorced. The reasons have never been remotely related to gay people or gay marriage.

 

As forces mobilized in states like California (over Prop 8) or recently in North Carolina, time, energy and millions of dollars were spent on anti-gay marriage ballot initiatives. Millions more will likely be spent in the upcoming months. Meanwhile, the heterosexual marriages these activists are alledgedly protecting continue to languish. Military marriages, for example, are facing unprecedented strain with multiple tours of duty and rampant PTSD. How many of those marriages could be helped if some of those anti-gay resources went to organizations that support military families such as Project Sanctuary, Coming Home Project or National Military Family Association?. Both military and civilian marriages could be helped by greater awareness of marriage education and counseling services and the opportunity to take advantage of such programs without undue financial hardship.

 

Instead of fighting against gay marriage, I wish more time and money was being spent to support the struggling institution of straight marriage.

 

*For a list of marriage education programs check the Smart Marriages Directory. For a list of marriage therapists check Marriage Friendly Therapists or the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy

Have We Misjudged the Kardashians?

via www.people.com

 

After the spectacle of a wedding and short-lived marriage of Kim Kardashian, there was great speculation that this was a case of unholy matrimony. Many believe Kim orchestrated the marriage for publicity and money, both of which she received in great quantities. It furthered the opinion that marriage is just one more thing the Kardashians will exploit to grow their empire.

If you believe Khloe Kardashian, this is not true. Recently Khloe and her husband, professional basketball player Lamar Odom announced they have suspended their reality show Khloe & Lamar until his basketball career is back on track. As an NBA fan I am well aware of Odom's disappointing performance after being traded from the Los Angeles Lakers to the Dallas Mavericks. He was asked to step away from the Mavs mid-season amid speculation that the reality show was a distraction. At this time his NBA future is uncertain. 

Kardashian has said that stopping the show will mean less pressure on the couple. She said, "I'm a modern girl, but you should put your husband first, I like to think divorce is not an option." While I would never expect to be in the role of Kardashian-defender, I do think this is the right move. Although one can question the initial decision to subject a marriage to all that a reality show brings, at least Kardashian and Odom seem to be taking the step that may have helped other couples who tried to mix marriage and reality TV with disastrous results.  

E! Announces New Series: "Married To Jonas"

via www.huffingtonpost.com

E! is zeroing in on the lives of Kevin and Danielle Jonas, EW exclusively reports."Married to Jonas" (premieres Mon., Aug. 19 at 10 p.m. on E!) follows the couple as they attempt to have a "normal" marriage while dealing with the fame that comes with being -- and being married to -- the eldest Jonas brother.

 

Is the irony of promoting the show in this manner lost on E! and the Jonas team? We're going to try to have a normal marriage (whatever that is) while dealing with fame, so we'll have cameras follow us, do a show and become more famous. I think this is especially problematic for such a young couple who still need to figure out themselves and marriage without pop fame OR a reality show. Good luck to you, Kevin and Danielle. Hopefully you won't suffer the same fate as Nick and Jessica, Carmen and Dave, Travis and Shanna, and the list goes on...

Marriage Advice From a Couple Married 72 Years

This video from the site Awkward Family Photos made me smile. Check it out!

"Keeping The Spark Alive In Your Marriage"

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No new information here, but it's a good quick reminder!